I have been talking about a secure attachment between a child and a mother for the last two weeks and how to build resilience in the group Muslimah Motherhood Circle.
I wanted to reflect on the most important attachment of all.
In Islām, belief in Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) is clearly an “attachment” to your Creator. It is a more secure, strong and precious attachment than any other bond or relation with anyone else. It not only teaches you how to connect to your Creator who is Al-Ḥayyul-Qayyūm (The Ever-Living, The Sustainer of all existence) but, by the guidance of Allāh, when you discover that your true Lord is Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) then you have truly reached the most secure base.
Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) says,
There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong. So whoever disbelieves in Tag hut and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allāh is Hearing and Knowing.
The most amazing stories are the people who have experienced the most unhappy and difficult childhoods. Those who either had no mother figure or were abandoned by parents in harsh situations, those who were emotionally and psychologically damaged, only when they came close to Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā), did their pains and sorrows become replaced with peace and happiness. My own mother, when she converted to Islam in the late 70s, is a testament to this.
She always told that our most trust must be with Allahswt and that she will be absent from us in life at times, so always know our first and foremost attachment is with Allahswt.
When a lot of converts or Muslims that haven’t been practicing and than came back to Allahswt or the the fold of Islām they realized that there is no true love, care, protection, or a secure base except with your Creator, who (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) is Ar-Raḥmān and Ar- Raḥīm (the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful). He is Ar-Ra’ūf (the Kind), Al-Qarīb (The Near), Al-Hafīḍ (The Guardian), As-Salām (The Source of Peace and Perfection), As-Samīʿ (The Hearing), Al- Wadūd (The Most Loving), Al-Wakīl (The disposer of affairs). These are but a few Names of Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā). Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) says,……. My Mercy embraces all things.
So my dear mothers and sister in Islam, if we want true success and confidence in our parenting, we need to first have a strong attachment to our Creator, Maker, Supporter and Assister. When I went through a divorce almost three ago, after 18 years of marriage, I became the closest I ever was with Allah SWT. I knew and he kept showing me, that true reliance, attachment, love and trust must be from the source of the Giver, the most merciful of those that show mercy.
This saying changed my life at that time and helped me to take the steps towards a life of contentment, growth and seeking authenticity and deep awareness in the pursuit of Allahswt pleasure.
“In accordance with how good your expectations of and hope in Allah SWT are and how truthful your reliance and trust are in him, Allahswt will not betray your hopes in the least, as He swt does not betray your hopes of those who hope and does not cause any effort to go to waste” Said by Abu-Muhammad al-Maqdisi in Salt prison in Jordan. From “Reflections Expecting the best from Allahswt”.
This connection with Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) is the only secure base that can reverse or go back to where you started, just as a new start in one’s life. All praise is due to Allāh, Lord of the Worlds. Anyone had a moment in life where their relationship and attachment to Allah SWT open the doors for success or the comfort to know he knows, he sees, he is with me <3